special time
Spending quality time with your child every day
can help prevent behavior problems and helps build a child's
self-esteem. Special time with your child is also an excellent way
to reward your child for good behavior and to teach your child
appropriate ways to behave. Quality time consists of those special
moments when parents give their undivided one-on-one attention to
their child and needs to occur on a regular basis. It is the
one-on-one time that really builds intimacy and a positive
relationship. If your child is playing quietly in his room, don’t
sneak away to make a phone call. Reward your child for the good
behavior with some quality time and then explain to him that you
need to make a call. Playing with your child is also an opportunity
to demonstrate and model appropriate behaviors. For example, playing
with blocks will show your child an appropriate way of playing.
Comment on what he/she is doing and commend him/her by saying
something like “wow you stacked those blocks so high – good job”.
Most parents, especially working parents, do not get down on the
floor to play with their children enough. You can change the dynamic
of your household by making a daily habit of setting aside certain
times of day to spend quality time with your children. The outcomes
and the effect on your child’s behavior will be immeasurable.
Here are some tips for successful quality time
with your children:
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Schedule it ahead of time.
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Schedule regularly - daily is best.
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Quality Time is to be spent between parent
and child alone, no others present.
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Your child chooses what to do, he/she is
the captain (parent may impose limits such as amount of time,
amount of money spent, if junk food allowed, etc.).
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Activities should be age appropriate for
the child.
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Parent gives the child their full
attention. No phones and no TV allowed.
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Parent follows the child’s lead. Child
gets to be boss and direct the parent in their play.
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Parent does not discuss limits or
discipline during this time. It is positive interaction only.
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Parent does not talk about other family
members or their own issues. The child is the center of the
universe during this time.
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Special time is not to be canceled as a
result of misbehavior. Choose other consequences to use.
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